AN INTRODUCTION
About a year ago I was in the midst of planning a wedding. I found myself astonished at the complexity of this commercial industry and the lengths that people would go to, even taking out loans to pay for expenses. Don't get me wrong, the wedding day is one of the most memorable days of one's life, but I can't reasonably justify committing the down payment on a first home to a wedding. The day shouldn't be about your wedding. It should be about starting your marriage.
So here is my challenge: reclaim your wedding. Reclaim it from this industry. Make it a celebration of your love, rather than just an expensive party. Be creative, be thrifty and resourceful (you will be amazed at what you can find). Not everything needs to be perfect (trust me, I'm a perfectionist) because it won't matter. By the end of my day I had ditched the dress and was dancing in jeans and a tank top. Make your day a reflection of you and your love, and save that cash for something that lasts longer than 24 hours. You will save money and have a perfect day that is as unique as your love for each other.
I started this site with the intention of selling a few things from our wedding (which, as you can see, is still part of my intention) but I now see it as an opportunity to help other soon-to-be husbands and wives find the motivation and resources to reclaim weddings of their own. I also discovered that I love making flowers and bouquets and would like to offer up my new found skills to others looking for nontraditional flowers. Not to mention I'd like to have a few more quarters in my change jar.
Photography by Lynn Donaldson
So here is my challenge: reclaim your wedding. Reclaim it from this industry. Make it a celebration of your love, rather than just an expensive party. Be creative, be thrifty and resourceful (you will be amazed at what you can find). Not everything needs to be perfect (trust me, I'm a perfectionist) because it won't matter. By the end of my day I had ditched the dress and was dancing in jeans and a tank top. Make your day a reflection of you and your love, and save that cash for something that lasts longer than 24 hours. You will save money and have a perfect day that is as unique as your love for each other.
I started this site with the intention of selling a few things from our wedding (which, as you can see, is still part of my intention) but I now see it as an opportunity to help other soon-to-be husbands and wives find the motivation and resources to reclaim weddings of their own. I also discovered that I love making flowers and bouquets and would like to offer up my new found skills to others looking for nontraditional flowers. Not to mention I'd like to have a few more quarters in my change jar.
Photography by Lynn Donaldson
our wedding
When David and I got engaged in 2013 I was absolutely terrified at the idea of planning a wedding, especially in Bozeman, MT where the wedding business has exploded and so have wedding expenses. We didn't really have much to spend but I wanted the day to be special because it was the start of our life together. I wanted it to be special for our family and friends too; maybe even something that would leave them feeling different about attending weddings. Weddings are opportunities to remind us all about the importance of love in our lives, something that is too often forgotten.
So we set out with 8 months of time and a budget of $10,000 (still more than I would have liked to have spent) to plan this special day. We managed to save $4,500 in just a few months and with a little help from our family we were able to have the day we really wanted, and a little bit of honeymoon to spare. Our first goal was the budget. Our second goal was to create a personal experience for all of our close family and friends, and our third goal was to put a little bit of character into everything that we did. Lastly, we wanted it to be a day that we would cherish, laugh about and never forget. I can gladly say we accomplished all of those things.
You might ask why I'm telling you about our experience. I think other couples also might have these same goals and also feel overwhelmed by the pressure and magnitude of today's wedding industry. It is almost defeating. When we started on this adventure, we did go to the bridal shows, pick up the magazines and flyers but never ordered the fancy cupcakes, the overpriced decorations, the honeymoon suites, the ridiculously expensive rentals and everything that goes along with the "wedding of your dreams". What we did do was spend a lot of time browsing the internet for ideas, create a very detailed budget on excel, track every single expense (from glue sticks to our venue), shop thrift stores and garage sales, and look for ways to save.
We had our wedding on a Thursday in September rather than a Saturday in July (which saved $$$), and chose a venue that was already beautiful and lent itself well to the look we wanted. We narrowed down our guest list to 120 of our closest friends and family. We bought our own tablecloths and napkins online, made our own invitations (no save the date cards) flowers, mints, signs, place markers, nametags, pennant flags, cake topper, garter, ceremony backdrop and other decorations. We picked up items from everywhere including 40+ mik glass pieces, odd vintage vases and bottles, candlesticks, books, buttons, old jewelry and brooches, bits of interesting ribbon, lace and paper, suitcases, oil lamps, knick knacks and other vintage items (including a $1.00 working 1946 Magic Margin typewriter and a beautiful antique oak secretary desk that has found a happy home in our apartment). We contracted an outside cleanup crew but still did some of it ourselves early the next day. We didn't ask our bridal party to rent dresses and suits but provided simple guidelines for them to put together everything on their own. Yes, the groom did not have dress pants as of the morning of the wedding, but he did finally show up dressed. We hired a friend to do our catering ($800) and my family donated the pork (our parents pulled the pork - talk about great family bonding).
There were three things that we "splurged" on 1) photographer 2) videographer 3) DJ and 4) day of coordinator. It was important the day was well documented. Rather than going with a typical wedding photographer we hired a family friend and photojournalist. Best decision ever. We got unique photos that documented not just the details of the day but the true atmosphere and feeling of our guests. The videographer was fresh out of college and for $500 he did an amazing job. Watch our video It was worth it to hire a professional DJ and not all that expensive in the scheme. Music was high up on our priority list and it was very personal. One of my favorite moments was walking into the reception during the MSU Fight Song...everyone clapped and sang through the whole thing. The best decision we made was to spend the money to hire a day of coordinator. Abby was a godsend....We hardly had to do anything the day of our wedding, it was completely stress free, and she helped us do a little bit of planning as well as provided resources, ideas, advice and even loaned us a few things.
Yes all of this created additional work (it would have been very easy to hire/buy everything), but we don't regret it and made many memories with my husband, family and friends while shopping hand-me-downs and making all this stuff. Everyone was involved and we got to spend more time with family. The result was a totally unique and special day that didn't break the bank and that was true to us.
I hope this can serve as inspiration for other thrifty brides & grooms. Be inspired, be creative and be you.
Stacey Ray
So we set out with 8 months of time and a budget of $10,000 (still more than I would have liked to have spent) to plan this special day. We managed to save $4,500 in just a few months and with a little help from our family we were able to have the day we really wanted, and a little bit of honeymoon to spare. Our first goal was the budget. Our second goal was to create a personal experience for all of our close family and friends, and our third goal was to put a little bit of character into everything that we did. Lastly, we wanted it to be a day that we would cherish, laugh about and never forget. I can gladly say we accomplished all of those things.
You might ask why I'm telling you about our experience. I think other couples also might have these same goals and also feel overwhelmed by the pressure and magnitude of today's wedding industry. It is almost defeating. When we started on this adventure, we did go to the bridal shows, pick up the magazines and flyers but never ordered the fancy cupcakes, the overpriced decorations, the honeymoon suites, the ridiculously expensive rentals and everything that goes along with the "wedding of your dreams". What we did do was spend a lot of time browsing the internet for ideas, create a very detailed budget on excel, track every single expense (from glue sticks to our venue), shop thrift stores and garage sales, and look for ways to save.
We had our wedding on a Thursday in September rather than a Saturday in July (which saved $$$), and chose a venue that was already beautiful and lent itself well to the look we wanted. We narrowed down our guest list to 120 of our closest friends and family. We bought our own tablecloths and napkins online, made our own invitations (no save the date cards) flowers, mints, signs, place markers, nametags, pennant flags, cake topper, garter, ceremony backdrop and other decorations. We picked up items from everywhere including 40+ mik glass pieces, odd vintage vases and bottles, candlesticks, books, buttons, old jewelry and brooches, bits of interesting ribbon, lace and paper, suitcases, oil lamps, knick knacks and other vintage items (including a $1.00 working 1946 Magic Margin typewriter and a beautiful antique oak secretary desk that has found a happy home in our apartment). We contracted an outside cleanup crew but still did some of it ourselves early the next day. We didn't ask our bridal party to rent dresses and suits but provided simple guidelines for them to put together everything on their own. Yes, the groom did not have dress pants as of the morning of the wedding, but he did finally show up dressed. We hired a friend to do our catering ($800) and my family donated the pork (our parents pulled the pork - talk about great family bonding).
There were three things that we "splurged" on 1) photographer 2) videographer 3) DJ and 4) day of coordinator. It was important the day was well documented. Rather than going with a typical wedding photographer we hired a family friend and photojournalist. Best decision ever. We got unique photos that documented not just the details of the day but the true atmosphere and feeling of our guests. The videographer was fresh out of college and for $500 he did an amazing job. Watch our video It was worth it to hire a professional DJ and not all that expensive in the scheme. Music was high up on our priority list and it was very personal. One of my favorite moments was walking into the reception during the MSU Fight Song...everyone clapped and sang through the whole thing. The best decision we made was to spend the money to hire a day of coordinator. Abby was a godsend....We hardly had to do anything the day of our wedding, it was completely stress free, and she helped us do a little bit of planning as well as provided resources, ideas, advice and even loaned us a few things.
Yes all of this created additional work (it would have been very easy to hire/buy everything), but we don't regret it and made many memories with my husband, family and friends while shopping hand-me-downs and making all this stuff. Everyone was involved and we got to spend more time with family. The result was a totally unique and special day that didn't break the bank and that was true to us.
I hope this can serve as inspiration for other thrifty brides & grooms. Be inspired, be creative and be you.
Stacey Ray